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For
the uninitiated, The Brainiac (El Baron del terror,
1962) may seem less like a south of the border cinematic oddity
and more like a trip into a surreal parallel universe. It's audaciously
silly and undeniably weird, but what else would you expect from
the country that gave the world the Los Luchadores (Mexican wrestling)
subgenre. The Brainiac doesn't include the heroic exploits
of popular cinematic wrestling star El Santo, but then again, it
doesn't need him. The Brainiac is outrageous enough all on
its own.
The
fun begins in 1661 as Baron Vitelius d'Estera (Abel Salazar) stands
before a masked tribunal for crimes against the people of Mexico.
The grand inquisitor reads from an incredibly long list of kinky
misdeeds perpetrated by the Baron, who seems mildly amused by the
proceedings. He is sentenced to burn at the stake for his crimes.
The
townsfolk gather in the field to watch as justice is harshly dealt.
A burning miniature in the camera's foreground is meant to give
the impression of a burning pyre, though it's obvious that the flames
come nowhere near the actor playing the Baron. Though the scene
is supposed to take place outside, the indoor set is amusingly sparse
and about as convincing as the sets festooned with cardboard gravestones
in Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959).
As
a comet flies overhead (an effect achieved using an "animated"
out of focus photograph), the Baron calls out to the men who have
condemned him. "I shall return to your world within 300 years
when that comet completes its cycle and is once again in these latitudes.
When that happens, I will take my revenge upon you. I will kill
each and every one of your descendants and I shall expunge your
foul lineage from this earth!"
Fast
forward to 1961 where Ronny and Vicky (Ruben Rojo and Rosa Maria
Gallardo) visit professor Millan (Luis Aragon) at his mountaintop
observatory. After the professor gives an exhaustive explanation,
we learn that the Baron's comet will be cruising past earth that
very evening. Vicky scans the sky with the observatory's telescope
and soon discovers the same shoddy special effect we saw earlier
crawling across the heavens. "What a splendid spectacle!"
the professor cries.
Meanwhile,
a curious driver spots the comet (literally a sparkler in the sky)
and pulls to the side of the road just as a giant paper maché
rock clumsily falls to earth. As he approaches the iceberg-shaped
structure, it dissolves, revealing a hideous space alien. With its
hawk-like nose and scraggly hair, the Brainiac is easily one of
the most inventive and amusing monsters to ever grace the screen.
The pulsating rubber mask and suction cup-tipped hands only add
to its low-budget charms. The monster attacks the hapless driver
with its elongated forked tongue and swaps clothes with him, its
ghastly visage transforming into that of Baron Vitelius!
Ronny
and Vicky, investigating the falling star, encounter the Baron on
the side of the road. Several long awkward moments pass (as if the
actors were waiting for the director to call "action")
before the trio introduce themselves. The youngsters eventually
go off comet hunting while the Baron proceeds to a nearby bar where
he meets a pretty lady. A flashing stage light is used to represent
the Baron's irresistible gaze. A flurry of bongo drums erupt on
the soundtrack as he transforms into the Brainiac and uses his forked
tongue to suck out her brains.
The
dead bodies end up at the local morgue. "A most astounding
thing has occurred in these cases," the medical examiner explains
to a pair of detectives, "The cephalic matter was sucked out
through these small openings."
"A
maniac with a lot of knowledge is a threat," one of the investigators
deadpans as they theorize that the deaths may somehow be linked
to a recent bank robbery.
The
Baron pays a visit to the national archive where, in the basement
catacombs, the remains of the grand inquisitors are interred. Later,
while strolling in front of a gas station, he encounters a working
gal whose brains are just too yummy to pass up. Cue that crazy bongo
beat as he transforms and goes on the attack.
Meanwhile,
the professor can't understand how the comet they were tracking
could've simply vanished from the sky. "We've been working
for two weeks," Ronny points out, "and you're exhausted."
Vicky brings in the mail, which includes an invitation from Baron
Vitelius. A party at the Baron's chi-chi mansion will be the perfect
way to unwind.
That
evening, the Baron gives the evil eye to each of his distinguished
guests as his butler announces their arrival. They are all the descendants
of the men who persecuted him 300 years earlier. To assure that
the audience fully understands the correlation between the present
day guests and their long-ago relatives, the faces of their forefathers
are superimposed over their modern day counterparts as each person
arrives. This cinematic technique works fine for the male actors
since they play both the grand inquisitors and their descendants,
but when poor Vicky enters, her face amusingly morphs into that
of her unattractive male ancestor.
After
attending to Ronny and Vicky, the Baron excuses himself. Sequestered
from the prying eyes of his guests, the Baron unlocks a large cabinet
to reveal an ornate goblet filled with brains! He daintily uses
a silver spoon to eat his fill before returning to the party. The
detectives working on the drained brain murders are also on hand
to protect the high society guests and their valuables from thieves.
The evening ends pleasantly and without incident.
So
far, the Brainiac's victims have been randomly selected. Now it's
time for the Baron Vitelius to truly exact his revenge. The first
on his list is a historian (actor/director German Robles). While
pouring over some historical texts, they come across the Baron's
own history and he confirms that he is indeed the same man mentioned
in the history books. Paralyzed by the Baron's flashing gaze, the
history professor can only watch as his lovely daughter succumbs
to the brain-hungry fiend. The professor is also sucked dry before
his house is set ablaze.
"These
people here were burned," the detective later says, overstating
the obvious. "Only that doesn't fool me. It's clear that that
madman extracted their brains as well."
Next,
the Baron visits a steel tycoon (director/actor Rene Cardona Sr.)
and his wife. The Baron goes on the attack while being shown the
man's laboratory/foundry. The tycoon watches helplessly as Baron
Vitelius makes out with his wife, then transforms and devours her.
Using his otherworldly influence, he forces the tycoon to step into
his own furnace.
Over
breakfast, Vicky and Ronny read about the recent deaths in the morning
papers. Since the victims were all guests of the Baron, Ronny can't
help but think that, "No matter how hard I fight it, I'm still
convinced this Baron Vitelius is a bad omen."
The
detectives also suspect the Baron, but he easily sidesteps their
questions. The next person on his list of vengeance is a newlywed
bride. When the Baron enters her honeymoon suite, she calls out
to her husband, but the bridegroom has already fallen victim to
the Baron's insatiable lust for revenge. Inexplicably (perhaps to
break up the monotony of all that sucking) the unlucky groom was
hung upside down in the shower and drowned. The bride faints at
the sight of the Brainiac and becomes his next meal.
The
detectives finally put two and two together when they visit the
catacombs, comparing the names there with their current list of
victims.
Vicky
and Ronny are the next to die!
At
his estate, the Baron lures Vicky into a room alone under the pretense
of giving her some jewelry. Out of nowhere he declares, "I
long to love you and adore you above all, I swear it. But there
is no way now. My hate is much stronger than my love, like a matter
no one can control." Ronny discovers the secret brain stash
and does battle with the transformed Baron. He isn't much help and
poor Vicky falls into the monsters clutches.
The
detectives, who've inexplicably arrived barring flame-throwers,
proceed to roast the Brainiac alive. The Baron's plot has been foiled.
The smoky, charred remains of the beast turn back into Vitelius
before finally dissolving into the Baron's skeletal remains.
Audiences
have K. Gordon Murray to thank for bringing The Brainiac
to American movie houses and TV screens in the mid 60's. The Florida-based
producer repackaged and dubbed Mexican product for the U.S. market
and became particularly well known for the kid's matinee titles
and horror movies he distributed. Murray rarely copyrighted these
films and, after their initial runs in theatres and television,
most of them faded into obscurity.
In
the public domain for years, The Brainiac was once only available
on bargain bin VHS and DVD. Thankfully, Casa Negra Entertainment
has released an exquisite version of the film that is sure to please
any cult movie fan. The full frame print used for this DVD release
is as near perfect as you can get with a film of this vintage. The
picture is crisp and you have the choice of the classically campy
English dub or the original Spanish language track with optional
English subtitles. A text essay details the history of the production
and it's place in the Mexican horror genre. Other features include
an interactive press kit, a U.S. radio spot, cast biographies and
a small still gallery. There is also a feature length commentary
by Kirb Pheeler, a fanboy who watches The Brainiac with all
the glee of a devoted fan. While commenting on the more absurd aspects
of the film, Pheeler also manages to impart a lot of information
detailing the film's background as well as the various behind-the-scenes
players, including actor/producer/director Abel Salazar.
The
Brainiac is a blissfully weird and wild ride through the surreal
world of Mexican horror movies. Take this cinematic trip south of
the border. You won't be disappointed.
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