Our story of betrayal, possession and unintentional laughs begins with a prologue set two hundred years in the past. A pair of Japanese lovers clandestinely meet in The House Where Evil Dwells (1982). All hell breaks loose when the young woman's samurai husband returns home. In a violently drawn out sequence (shown entirely in slow motion) the husband tears the house apart, dispatches the two lovers and commits hari kari. The eastern setting gives the operatic situation a tragic nobility. But if the warriors ranting were translated into English, they might say, "Git yer hands off a my woman, ya yellow-bellied varmit!"

The winds of change blow through the house and a contemporary American family moves in. Ted and Laura Fletcher (Edward Albert and Susan George) spend the first night in their new home making love the American way, with lots of back light, camera dissolves and orchestral strings on the soundtrack. George, who's never been shy about nudity, bares all in the first of the film's graphic love scenes. The spirits of the dead still linger in the house and watch as George does a topless bump and grind atop Albert.

Images of the evil spirits are achieved with double process photography. This tried and true technique gives the apparitions a traditionally transparent look, but the stylized ghost make-up makes them look like something that might have appeared on Dark Shadows.

The next morning a Monk from a nearby temple gives Ted a polite warning, "It is a pity you have chosen this house as your home." Perhaps he's just worried that the likes of Albert and George will lower property vales in the neighborhood.

Laura finds a small ivory carving that once belonged to the doomed lovers. She, her husband and their friend Alex Curtis (Doug McClure) all share an eerie moment of premonition. The three Americans will soon become the present day counterparts of the evil spirits.

Meanwhile, the ghosts have begun to play tricks around the house, like switching off lamps and overturning bowls. They even briefly possess members of the family, causing them to do and say strange things. Laura begins an affair with Alex while under the influence of the evil spirits, which explains a lot. A woman would have to be possessed to sleep with Doug McClure.

The Fletchers, along with their daughter Amy (Amy Barrett), absorb some local color at crowded festival. When Ted develops the shots he took of a beautiful woman in the crowd, she is mysteriously absent from every picture.

Ted, who's been working on stories about Japanese folklore, goes with a magazine editor to a swinging nightclub. On the dance floor, Otami, the seductress who was murdered in his home two hundred years ago, haunts him. After ghosts terrorize him in his home office, Ted visits the Monk, who fills him in on the dubious history of the house he's purchased.

One evening, young Amy sees a ghostly face in her soup bowl. Understandably, she refuses to eat her supper. Ted won't be named parent of the year anytime soon when he, under the influence of the ghosts (the spirit of Joan Crawford perhaps?), forces Amy to choke down her dinner.

One afternoon, while Laura and Alex are busy screwing around, Ted observes a group of pearl divers in the harbor. He is nearly drowned when he dives in after a beauty that looks like Otami.

With her parents otherwise occupied, Amy is left by herself to deal with the evil house. Giant crabs attack Amy in the films weirdest (and funniest) moment. These possessed crustaceans are achieved with mechanical puppets that bounce along on strings. They mutter and moan their ghostly threats as they chase her around her room. They even chase into the garden and up a tree!

While Amy recovers in the hospital, Laura becomes more and more upset as inexplicable things continue to occur in the house. "I hate this house and I hate the things in it!" she screams at her husband. Her badgering prompts them both into hysterical fits of overacting. Ted insists that they'll leave as soon as he's finished with his story.

If only they'd listened to the old man in the beginning. The Monk comes to perform a religious ceremony, a sort of oriental exorcism. Once the evil spirits have been banished, the Monk warns, "Let no one in the house. No one."

Pretty straightforward directions, right? But following orders seems to be beyond Ted and Laura's capabilities. Laura cracks under the pressure of all the supernatural shenanigans and picks this moment to admit to her extramarital affair. Alex also picks this inappropriate moment to pay a visit. When Ted lets him in the door, the ghosts scurry back into the house for the film's chop-sockey finale.

Ted and Alex brawl the old fashioned way with rock'em sock'em Hollywood punches. When the boys begin to wear out, the ghosts take possession of their bodies. Suddenly, they're landing karate chops and roundhouse kicks. Actors Albert and McClure are hardly martial arts experts and the remainder of their choreographed fight is unintentionally hilarious. The evil ghosts play out their ancient roles with Ted, Alex and Laura as their pawns. Ted uses a samurai sword to decapitate Alex (McClure's flying head is memorable to say the least) and then kills his wife.

Ted kills himself, just like the betrayed warrior two hundred years earlier. The spirits are momentarily appeased and hurry away into the night, leaving the carnage behind them in the house where…. well, you know.

Long before it became chic to remake Japanese ghost stories, The House Where Evil Dwells tried to shake up the standard haunted house by moving the action to the land of the rising sun. The Japanese location may be new, but the action could have easily taken place in a spooky castle or gothic mansion. Happily, despite the changes the tried and true genre clichés remain intact. Along with occasional scenery chewing by the lead actors, it's the mishandling of these clichés that elect laughter rather than screams.

In deference to the popularity of more recent Japanese horror movies, The House Where Evil Dwells forgoes its original poster artwork for a DVD cover that clearly mimics the poster design from The Grudge (2004). The DVD for The House Where Evil Dwells features a digital mix of the original mono soundtrack and a choice between fullscreen and widescreen (1.85:1) versions of the film. The only special feature on the disc is the original trailer.

CCT also recommends:

Burnt Offerings

Amityville 3-D

The Mephisto Waltz

If renting movies is for you, try Netflix. They stock most of the movies CCT recommends.